The Type That Quits

I was recently talking to a friend. He was telling me about his most recent project. Working on a brand new idea that everyone was excited about. Internal users were eager to be included in the pilot group of users. His comments about the project start made it clear that he was really excited to share the story. As his description developed, the tone became much more negative. Ending with thoughts of the project being an utter failure.

Next, he began describing how the last 3 projects had taken a similar path to this most recent project. That is when you could feel the punchline before it was said," I'm ready to quit.". After the previous couple of minutes lingering in negativity, I was not shocked to hear the phrase. Frankly, I rarely am shocked to hear the phrase. I get it, we get tired of fighting the battles and then carrying the “what if” around. I have faced this with my fair share of employers, too, hence the solid handful of employers I have had in my professional career. Each time, it was my choice to leave the employer.

His biggest concern in leaving his current role is upsetting the people around him that he enjoys working with and considers friends. Which I have a difficult time believing, completely. In the United States, employment is more than a financial decision. It is about the availability of more affordable healthcare, access to higher retirement savings limits, and it is a source of accidental death insurance for the partners of employees . He is the breadwinner in his living situation; the friends at work are part of the story, not the complete story.

Since his work friends were the issue on the top of his mind, I gave him some advice. After years of good to great decisions at the current employer, making the single decision to leave will not sour the relationships he has worked hard to build. These friends will still laugh at the dumb situations he took part in. They will still be annoyed at the decisions he made that they now have to fix, and they will still make that awkward wave when they see him out in public (like all relationships that only happen in a single context). Everything will be all right. Each friend will support the decision in the long term. If they do not support the decision, were they really your friend? It will all work out in the end.

By this point in my life, I have learned that it is the people who matter in work. My friend had already done the hard work of proving he's a good person and a great engineer. He stood the test of time at the organization. He just grew faster than the employer has in this case. Quitting a job is not only about leaving everything behind you. It is about growing into a new version of yourself. When at work, it is your job to show how you can support your team as best as possible. Support the mission, even if it's not exactly the mission you would pick. Ask the questions that push the boundary for everyone. Be the person who carries a reputation that gains you a group of people who would immediately hire you when they see your name on an application. Focusing on the relationships will make each and every transition to a new version of you easier each time you do it.